FOR ME YO

I'm falling in love with writing again and it's too late.
I was never good with goodbyes but I gave this class a kiss on the forehead and turned off the light.
Just like my dad did every night. Because that was my favorite way anyone has ever broken my heart.

I kissed Paris for the last time because I never got comments on my blog in creative writing 1 which made me think I sucked, so halfway through creative writing 2 I started writing for the comments.

Thirsty to prove to myself  I typed and typed thinking what would Jess and everyone else like?

Which is why I stopped posting. Because even though my name is hanging on the top, all the drafts do not spell M c C a l l.

Alas, a brave poet pulled me out of my pity party. Her name is Mallary. I did her blog anaylisis and her writing tangoed with my heart and reminded me why I took the trip to Paris a second time. Because some of her best posts had no comments at all.

SO SCREW THE DAMN COMMENTS.

I'm falling in love with writing again and it's too late.

Because the coolest kid in the class told me I was great. Colby told me he loved my love posts. And that made my heart warm and my face bright. BECAUSE I ENJOY WRITING ABOUT LOVE. It's driven by emotion and makes even the grinch feel warm. So get ready for more sappy posts about how I want to wake up every morning and see you buttering my toast.

Because I fell in love with writing again with only 17 more days.

I wish I would have realized a lot sooner that the best writers in the class aren't Nelson favorites. Because ALL of us are the best writers in the class. I love everyones style of writing and I don't give a damn how many comments the post got. Because life isn't measured by likes or favorites it's measured by the hearts you've touched and how many times you've made people smile.

I wish I would have realized a lot sooner. Because I could have touched a lot more hearts or made Colby smile more. But instead I ignored the stirrings in my chest and pretended like I didn't even want to spill my heart out all over my keyboard.

So I apologize to all of you, to Nelson, but mostly to myself. Even though I love you all I write for McCall. And that's the way it should have been all semester.